Yesterday I had to make one of the most difficult decisions of my life. As any of you who know me will attest, I love all children - and want them to be safe and happy. I know a child whom I felt was living in a situation that was not safe. I felt their needs were not being looked after, and the home they were living in was not an appropriate envirnoment for a child. After having reflected on what to do for 5 days, I finally came to the conclusion that I should call DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services).
One of the most difficult parts about making that decision is that this child's mother is my friend, and I love her dearly. I felt afraid that she would find out that I had been the one who called, and it would cause major problems with our friendship. She did find out, and so far there has been fall-out; but not just from her.
I feel badly that people who are involved think this is some kind of "getting even" with my friend. It has nothing to do with her, or the choices which she is making in her life. All it really has to do with is the child, and their emotional and physical well being.
It's true that I may not agree with my friend's choices, but that is why we have agency. God allows us to make choices that affect us - and He allows us to experience the consequences of those choices. That is the purpose of this life. He does, however, expect children to be protected and taken care of. When a child is caught in the middle of a bad situation, they have no voice. I chose to give a child a voice this week.
In the Proclamation on the Family, written by the first presidency of the LDS church, it states: "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs... Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations... Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity... Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities... We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God." I believe that family and friends will alse be held accountable before God if they stand by and do nothing to protect His children from harm.
I have watched for a year as this child has struggled emotionally, and I finally made a judgement call. I know I will be held accountable before God for that decision. I would rather err on the side of protecting a child than on the side of allowing them to remain in an environment that is not conducive to a safe, happy life.
If my friend reads this post, I hope she understands that I did what I did out of lover for her child. I love them both dearly, and I made a decision I felt would help them improve their life situation. I hope all others reading this post also understand the reasons behind my decision. Children are a precious gift from God, and His desire is that we cherish each gift and love it to the fullness of our capacity - before we return home to His presence. My hope, in calling DCFS, was to give my friend a new perspective and a new hope on how to better her life ~ and how to create a home that is safer and more appropriate for her child to live in.
Everything I have done is out of love. I pray my friends, and family, can truly see where my decision came from - my heart, and my love of a child.
My World Travels
7 years ago
3 comments:
Hayden was completely well adjusted and loved to be home. I talked to my bishop and stake president before making any decisions regarding my life. If you were concerned you talk to the people involved first before you go and ruin their lives. You really think Hayden would have done better in a foster home? They wouldn't have placed him with you, you can't have foster kids anymore. Look at yourself before you cast the first stone again. I know that God will hold you responsible for what happened if the state got more involved and I don't think you would have liked it very much. My home for the most part is much cleaner than yours and you don't work. You haven't worked. So next time before you push someone off a bridge talk to people that know something first. Had you talked to mom and dad they would have advised against it. Hayden loves being at home, messy or not. Hayden loves his dad, and he loves me. Even the guy from DCFS thought the report was laughable when he saw the house and then I told him what my life was like. You work 50+ hours a week and keep a spotless home. At least my toilet never has had mold in it.
PS the state had already viewed it safe for David to be home and Hayden was fine. You knew this before you made this call. This has forever destroyed our relationship and you will never be allowed by Hayden again. It is not healthy for him to be around someone so manipulative and sadistic.
Furthermore~ you do not protect children, you put them in harms way. You have had 2 sets of foster children taken from you for abuse. You were reported by your family because we talked to you countless times first and you wouldn't listen. YOU abuse kids. And I won't go into the abuse you have done to my child. I asked you many times to not do things to him because it wasn't right but you continue. This is why the only times you have watched him is when Summer asked you too while she was watching him. YOU cannot be trusted.
Hayden's needs have been met. He is healthy and happy. I protect him to the best of my ability. My husband is mentally ill, much like you, although he takes the steps to help himself. YOU won't even take the psych test the state wants you to take so you can adopt a child because you know that you will fail. As soon as I told DCFS I suspected the report came from you and that you are bitter that you can't have kids and have reported your friends and then volunteered to take their kids the case was closed. They know who you are. They know what you are. If they had researched your name before investigating the claim they never would have been out here.
You made this call after I put you in your place about meddling into my affairs. I told you the no contact orders had been dropped by the courts and you said you would have to have Zane check into it. That isn't his right, that isn't his job. His boss even said so. So just because you have your panties in a bunch because Zane got busted for threatening my husband and then I told you off you made a call that would ruin 3 people's lives. You reported that there was still a "protective order" order in place. There has never been a protective order, only no contact orders, there is a huge difference.
Hayden has always been first for me. I have taken his needs into consideration before I make any decisions. The fall out of your revenge is irreperable. You and your family, will never be permitted around Hayden again. If you come near us again I will file a harrassment suit against you and get a restraining order. You are a psychotic bitch and you will be stopped. You pretend that you didn't know the real information but that is a lie. YOU will be held accountable to the Lord for this and I hope to see you rotting in hell for it. Your only concern is YOU. NO one else.
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