Light

And now it's day 3. It's funny. I thought I would crave sugar or sweets, but I really don't. Once I made up my mind, it seems like my body has just followed right along. I am getting REALLY bad headaches though... probably because I am used to eating not very healthy things, and now that I am eating healthy my body is getting accustomed to it still? I am drinking TONS of water, and that usually seems to help, but I am also extremely tired- like my body needs me to rest so it can repair the damage I have done to it for so long now.



I have been thinking. In Matthew 5:15-16, it says... "Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." I always thought that meant don't hide your talents... like playing the piano, singing, acting, etc. I thought I was doing a pretty good job at sharing my talents with others- I love to play piano, sing, share, serve... what else could this mean? Well, what is a bushel? for fruit, it's a basket that you fill to carry it. To hide something under that bushel would mean to simply put that basket on top so others can't see what is underneath- to put a candle under a basket so the light is hidden. I have my own personal bushel. It's my weight.

For YEARS, I have struggled with my weight, and along with that, my self-esteem. I have said "If anyone is a true friend, they will see past the weight to my heart and get to know me. I do have true friends who have done just that. I have hidden who I truly am under layers and layers of who I am not. Because of hiding by becoming who I am not... I have become who I am not. My light is so hidden, even to myself, that sometimes when I see a glimmer, I think "Wow, I am amazing."

I have heard this quote before, but it never really hit home until this week. I thought I would put it along with one of the pictures I took. This picture is very significant to me- it's a sunrise on a day I was struggling with one of the biggest emotional struggles of my life. It seems appropriate.






The journey has begun. I am ready. Many more sunrises and sunsets will come and go... but in the meantime, I will be finding myself again, and that is all that matters.